When someone is going through treatment for cancer, there will likely be times that they need help caring for themselves, physically and emotionally. This is where a cancer caregiver, often a partner, family member, or friend, can step in to help.
While caregiving is an act of love and support, it’s important to recognize that caregiving can be a difficult job. Sometimes, caregivers need to be reminded to take good care of themselves, too.
Kennedi, an NBCF staff member, has personal, first-hand experience as a caregiver to a loved one who is a two-time breast cancer survivor. In this post, Kennedi outlines the steps she took to help her maintain her own health and well-being while being a caregiver and offers these caregiving tips to others.
There are many difficult and overwhelming challenges cancer patients face after diagnosis, from coping with physical needs created by treatment side effects to organizing information for doctor’s appointments and insurance companies to emotional reassurance and support during this frightening time.
While caring for someone with cancer, it’s important to remember that caregivers need care, too. But it can be easy to forget to take care of yourself, leading to neglect when it comes to your own mental health and well-being. As a caregiver, I have found that in order to be of the most help and support to your loved one, it is essential to monitor and check in on your own mental and physical health. Caregiving can be exhausting, both mentally and physically, and it is vital to recognize the signs of potential burnout.
The Cancer Caregiver Guide offers support and practical advice for caregivers as they work to provide effective care for their loved one and practice self-care. Download the free guide now.
During my time as a caregiver, I identified and implemented ways to help protect and nurture my own health while protecting and nurturing my loved one. These are the eight key takeaways I implemented.
It’s okay to recognize that it is normal to feel overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, sad, and even guilty as the primary caregiver to someone with cancer. Emotions are part of being human, and going through a challenging time can cause challenging emotions to arise. Make space for them and allow them to be felt.
Finding support can seem like a big task, but a support group or person, either in person or online, can allow you to speak with others going through similar situations. Speaking to a counselor or therapist can help you navigate these challenging emotions and even build a self-care plan.
It’s often hard to accept help from others. But when someone offers to help, my advice is to accept. You can even ask for help from others. You don’t have to do this alone, and you’ll be surprised by the number of people willing and ready to help. Tasks that are easy to delegate to others may include running errands, cooking, helping with laundry, running kids to and from practices, or even cleaning. Allowing others to help can be rewarding for them and allow a much-needed break for yourself.
It is important not to deplete yourself. Setting healthy boundaries to protect your time and energy can be vital as a caregiver. Healthy boundaries for a caregiver can look like not overcommitting to responsibilities outside of your caregiving role, such as with work and volunteer positions, and even setting boundaries to protect some “me time” within your caregiving relationship.
Staying organized can look different for everyone. Whether it be keeping a detailed planner, putting up notes on the fridge, or even writing on sticky notes, keeping track of appointments, medications, and other needed tasks can be extremely helpful. Set up a routine for you and your loved one to follow in order to alleviate any stress that comes with uncertainty or disorganization.
The unfortunate reality is that life as a cancer patient and cancer caregiver can be unpredictable. There are many things that cannot be controlled, such as your loved one’s diagnosis and prognosis, their physical response to treatment, and even their day-to-day emotional response and mindset. But focusing on what you can control—your responses, mindset, and how you allocate your time and energy—can help alleviate feelings of helplessness and stress and give a sense of accomplishment.
This is a difficult time, and you are in an important role that can come with times of frustration, sadness, stress, and even guilt. Understand that you are not going to be perfect and will not always get it right, but giving yourself grace, knowing you are doing what you can to the best of your ability, can help alleviate negative thoughts and feelings, allowing you to concentrate on your mental health and the health of your loved one.
Isolation can be a thief of joy. While taking time for yourself when you are a caregiver can be difficult, making time for a quick phone call or coffee with a friend, allowing for a moment of laughter and connection, can help you stay connected and feel loved and cared for.
Being a caregiver for a loved one with cancer comes with many challenges and can sometimes leave you feeling helpless, hopeless, stressed, or overwhelmed. Incorporating these eight takeaways into your daily life as a caregiver can help you maintain your own mental health and ability to offer care, even as you work to improve the health of your loved one.
National Breast Cancer Foundation is here for you and your loved ones as you navigate a breast cancer diagnosis. Visit our website to learn about NBCF breast cancer support groups, obtain free educational resources, or find a patient navigator in your area.
The ideas presented in this blog post are based on the personal experience of the collaborating writer and are not intended for medical advice. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health crisis as a result of cancer caregiving or otherwise, please reach out to a medical or mental health professional immediately.
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